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So, guarding your heart is the result of clear communication.
It begins with prayer to God (as Paul lays out in Philippians 4:6-7) and overflows into communication with the other person.
Unless you catch this kind of vision for why you need to guard your heart, it will remain a legalistic, minimalistic endeavor in your life. Since most Christian dating books put such a premium on guarding your heart, the result is that it often leaves people paralyzed as a relationship develops.
When you read most Christian dating books, one of the key pieces of counsel they provide is to “guard your heart.” They establish that guarding your heart is an essential component of correctly pursuing any dating relationship.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Paul tells us that prayer is the pathway to guarding our hearts and minds with the peace of God.
Peace comes as a comfort rooted in our trust in God that is expressed in the process of prayer.
In other words, the key to guarding your heart is to talk to God about the relationship before you talk to the other person about the relationship. First, hearts become unguarded when you move too fast in the relationship–becoming too vulnerable too quickly.
You must lay a foundation of friendship before building a house of intimacy.